In the room
They refuse the coat / the task / the rule
Power, sensory comfort, or a missing why — diagnose before you escalate.
What is actually happening
Sometimes it is autonomy. Sometimes the coat itches. Sometimes they never got a real choice all day. Positive discipline uses a limit you will keep, a choice inside it, and a natural consequence when it is safe.
Do
- Two ways to succeed: wear it or carry it
- If unsafe (hot parking lot, road), you decide kindly and they may be angry
- If safe, let the small consequence teach — then talk
Don't
- Power struggle as entertainment
- Unsafe natural consequences
What to say
- Coat on or coat in your hands. Those are the two ways we go.
- You were cold. Next time you'll have data.
The scaffold
Let them pick the coat the night before. Autonomy moved earlier in time.