In the room
Drop-off clings and tears
The attachment system doing its job, loudly.
What is actually happening
Separation anxiety is typical, especially 9–18 months and at new thresholds (new class, new sibling). Sneaking out confirms the fear: people vanish. A short, honest ritual plus a teacher who receives them is the cure that takes days, not speeches.
Do
- Same words, same window wave, same person receiving
- Keep the goodbye under a minute once the ritual starts
- Come back when you said you would — this is the data they need
- Teachers: narrate 'Mama comes after snack' and offer a job
Don't
- Long lingering that restarts the grief every 30 seconds
- Sneaking out
- Mocking tears
What to say
- I go. I come back after snack. Two squeezes. I love you. Mrs. Cole has you.
The scaffold
Practice tiny separations at home: 'I'm in the next room. Call me and I'll answer.'