In the room
They will not share
Possession is a developmental stage, not a personality.
What is actually happening
Toddlers are still practicing 'mine' as a self. True sharing needs some theory of mind and inhibition. Parallel play is typical. Grabbing is often impulse, not greed. Teaching turns works better than forcing generosity on a timer.
Do
- Use a timer for turns with coveted toys
- Have duplicates of the hottest item when you can
- Narrate: 'She's using it. Your turn when the sand runs out'
- Praise the turn when it happens — specific, small
Don't
- Force a hug-and-hand-over that teaches sharing is losing plus humiliation
What to say
- You can use it until the timer. Then it is Sam's turn. I'll help with the handoff.
- You don't have to give your bear. That's a comfort thing. The trucks are for taking turns.
The scaffold
Practice with a third, less-loved toy first. Success there, then the beloved truck.